Baywatch review . Meanwhile, the beach’s safety is threatened when a local drug smuggling ring is discovered. Yet the problem here is that Baywatch just isn’t ludicrous enough.

It shoots for the outlandish comedy and heartfelt centre of 2. Jump Street - the blueprint for any credible remake of a cheesy 8. TV show right now, but good reason - but it leans too far into all of its elements simultaneously. The action, drama and comedy are all . The trouble is that the audience knows that being a lifeguard here isn’t some noble human pursuit, and the film flits back and forth between painting him as a someone we should take seriously and a figure of fun oblivious to his own overblown hubris. The film can’t even decide who its protagonist is, repeatedly switching from Johnson’s Mitch to Ronnie (Jon Bass) to Efron’s Brody on a whim and never really settling on any of them. While Brody gets the main emotional arc, Johnson is clearly the star draw here and takes the place of David Hasselhoff in the cast.

Read what all the top critics had to say about Baywatch at Metacritic.com. In Baywatch, characters are introduced with style. But the storyline itself is routine, predictable.

Then there’s Ronnie, the loveable misfit who might have been the best way to go. He’s certainly the most likeable, even against Johnson’s ability to make even the most dreadful material winning with a simple smile and an arm fold. As a plus- sized lifeguard, there’s also surprisingly little fat shaming thrown Ronnie’s way, and his position as the tech guy on a team of adonis- like physical specimens makes him a natural entry point for most of the audience. If there’s a Baywatch sequel, it might need a shift in focus.

There are sparks of the film this should probably have been, most of which involve callbacks to the original series. Certain cameos are spoiled in the opening credits (and they are just cameos, so don’t get your hopes up) but other jokes about the sheer ridiculousness of this property land better than a lot of other gags. One particular scene in which the veteran lifeguards recount past adventures will provide a chuckle. There’s a nod to gender balance - and lack of clothing is definitely equal opportunity - with the same number of guys and gals (Alexandra Daddario, Kelly Rohrbach and Ilfenesh Hadera) on the team, but it can’t be ignored that none of the women have a personality, an arc or anything really to do. They are there to be attractive, reward the heroes at the end, and nothing more.

Contrary to this disappointment there’s Priyanka Chopra as the film’s villain (a part reportedly written for a male actor) - it’s a welcome switch from the norm that, while it doesn’t save the film, adds a layer of interest. There’s a reason Chopra is a massive international star, and she joins Johnson as one of the most charismatic people on screen. But after the promising opening, in which we’re treated to a joyful parody of The Rock’s public persona as a larger- than- life hero of the people, the world of Baywatch seems frightened of its own heightened reality, and this along with the shortage of really funny jokes makes it an underwhelming watch. It ticks all the boxes, with likeable leads, crude humour and a passable narrative underneath the fun, but it all falls a bit flat in the end. In the end, this represents the downside of following a proven formula when there’s not enough wit or creativity to transform it into an enjoyable film. Baywatch is in UK cinemas from May 2.

From left, Kelly Rohrbach, Alexandra Daddario, Ilfenesh Hadera, Dwayne Johnson, Zac Efron and Jon Bass, in an image from the comedy 'Baywatch.' (Frank Masi, Paramount.

Heeeeeeeeeelp! If, indeed, Dwayne . That's right - the man who starred in .

Then again, these days, what is? The movie couldn't possibly damage the actor's popularity.

• The AMC Theaters CEO argues that flops like King Arthur: Legend of the Sword and Baywatch are to blame for a weak quarter at the box office.
• Buy Baywatch: Read 96 Movies & TV Reviews - Amazon.com.
• Check out Matt Donato's review of Baywatch, the 2017 lifeguard reboot starring Dwayne Johnson and Zac Efron as beach-watching saviors.
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• Baywatch Review: Baywatch simply isn't funny, and is a waste of Dwayne Johnson and Zac Efron's talents. The film is based on the popular series.

Johnson being Johnson, he's still a delight to watch. But there's only so much a charismatic giant can do when he's up against a blend of lazy gross- out humor and inane male wish fulfillment weighed down by terrible editing and lame action. The movie, based on one of the most popular television series of the 1. David Hasselhoff's TV juggernaut about a team of capable lifeguards was fairly family- friendly stuff, even with all the bodacious babes slow- motion jogging along the beach in bathing suits. If the many f- bombs in the first few minutes of this adaptation don't tip viewers off to the R rating, they'll have things figured out by the time a character peers underneath the scrotum of a corpse, looking for evidence of malfeasance.

This is the . It worked for . In a flash, he's done his duty and emerges from the wake, effortlessly carrying the comatose victim while dolphins pop out of the water behind them. But that's the extent to which .

Instead the story is typical action- comedy stuff: Mitch and his crew try to get to the bottom of a murder mystery that involves a sultry land developer played by Priyanka Chopra. At the same time, Mitch has to contend with a new hotshot rookie, Matt Brody (Zac Efron, so muscular his pecs look like they might burst through his skin), a disgraced Olympic swimmer with the nickname . So Mitch takes it upon himself to show this selfish hunk the error of his ways.

And just like that, the comedy takes a turn toward after- school- special territory. The other major character is Ronnie Greenbaum (Jon Bass), a chubby recruit with furry nipples who exists to deliver physical humor and pine after his co- worker, C. J. Parker (Kelly Rohrbach). The actress is a former model who dated Leonardo Di. Caprio before getting together with one of the Walmart heirs, but in movies like this it's a no- brainer that she might fall for a guy who's the personification of awkwardness. It's no shock that the women in . Even Chopra, as the villain, has minimal dialogue, although the camera spends plenty of time giving her elevator eyes while she dons form- fitting, cleavage- baring dresses.

Maybe dodging bad lines was a relief for the actresses. It's not like the screenplay, by Damian Shannon and Mark Swift, gives performers much to work with. The height of humor is a running gag that involves Mitch calling Matt derisive names like . Neither are the gross- out gags all that shocking, as desensitized as we've become to comedic body horror. If anything, . Dwayne Johnson stars, playing a heroic lifeguard who must team up with a brash new recruit (Zac Efron) to foil a criminal plot. Cast: Johnson, Efron, Priyanka Chopra, Alexandra Daddario.

Director: Seth Gordon. MPAA rating: R for language throughout, crude sexual content, and graphic nudity. Treading Water (2015) Movie Dvd Quality here. Running time: 1 hour 5. Where: Find New Orleans showtimes.